The real robbers

During a robbery, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank,“Dont move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you.” 

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called “Mind Changing Concept" Changing the conventional way of thinking. 

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: “Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!”

This is called “Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do! 

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): “Big brother, let’s count how much we got.” 

The older robber rebutted and said: “You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!” This is called “Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications! 

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: “Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”. This is called “Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: “It will be good if there is a robbery every month.”

This is called “Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job. 

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 millon was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: “We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!”

This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as gold!”

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.This is called “Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks! 

So who are the real robbers here?

Don't sell you dream

In an investment seminar a man saw a beautiful lady and falls in love instantly. He proposes her. But being a financial planning expert she asks about his background....

He said - "..well, I am an ordinary man today, but few months later, after my ailing father dies, I would inherit 300 crore property ..."

The lady was deeply impressed ...and they exchanged thier business cards...

...and within a month

the lady walks into his house as his step mother...

Moral: Investment is subjected to market risks...

Don't sell you dream to others before it becomes reality ;-)

A mail from DEAD

One Day A Rich man went London for Tour.. He Take a Rental Room in a 5 Star Hotel.

There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send a mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed the wrong email address, and without realizing, he sent the mail to a widow who has just returned from her husband's funeral.

The widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message she fainted.

The son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read 

 " To my loving wife, 

I know you are surprised to hear from me, they have computers here and we are allowed to send mails to loved ones.

I have just checked in.

How are You and the kids, The place is really nice, but am lonely here.

I have made necessary arrangement for Your arrival tomorrow. Expecting you darling. I can't wait to see you! "

A Rainy Day .. You love to read :-)

It was raining heavily, and Rama stood with his young daughter under a Tree. He had to find a safer place, before the deluge became worse. He was caught in this sudden rain while returning from the market. There were no Taxis to be found.

A bike rider stopped near him, parked his bike and rushed to take shelter under the Tree, right next to Rama. He was totally drenched in water, and probably stopped because the visibility was poor - Rama thought so.

It was getting dark, and Rama was worried.

Rama: Can you drop us somewhere safer, this place is not good to stay much longer. My kid is getting unwell. We were retuning from....

Biker takes one look at Rama, rushes to his Bike and rides away, even as it continues to rain badly. Even before Rama could make sense of this, the Biker was a distant speck. Gone.

Rama is disappointed, and curses the Biker, and starts lamenting, about how there was no humanity left in the world. People were selfish. The world was a far better place earlier. 

After a few minutes a Taxi pulls over, with the Biker following it closely. He waves at them, and asks them to get into the Taxi, and says aloud: Bike not safe in rain for the kid.

Even as those words drown in the rain, and Rama thanks him, the Biker is on his way.

Not all who walk away, are running away.

A costly dinner with girlfriend

Girl :- Lets go for a dinner tonight.

Boy :- Ok.

Girl :- But where will you take me?

Boy :- We will go to Mint Food (an economic restaurant).

Girl :- No. That's a very cheap place. Let's go to Tomato's (A brutally costly place)

Boy :- *silence for a minute* Ok, See you at 7. I will pick you up from your place.

Boy picks up girl at 7, On the way...

Boy :- Once I had pani puri (a.k.a. gol-gappa, an indian street food) competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris and defeated me. 

Girl :- What's so difficult in it?

Boy :- Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is difficult.

Girl :- I can easily beat you.

Boy :- Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.

Girl :- Let us have that competition right now.

Boy :- So you want to see yourself defeated? 

Girl :- Let's see.

They both stop at a Pani-puri stall. They start eating. After about 30 Pani-puri the boy gave up. The girl was also full, but to defeat her boyfriend, she ate one more and shouted, "You lose."

The bill was JUST 120rs.

SITA HARAN ( RAMAYAN)

The door bell rings in a flat and the woman alone in the house opens the door.

Beggar, "Amma please give me something"

Woman, "here take"

Beggar, "please come out and give"

Woman, "OK"

Beggar, "Ha Ha Ha Ha I am Ravan"

Woman, "Ha Ha Ha I  am not Sita, I am the kaamwali."

Beggar, "Ha Ha ,even better, I still regret carrying away Sita, Mandodari will be happy, we want a maid. I am going to kidnap you."

Woman, "Ha Ha Ha Only Ram came searching for Sita. If I am missing, ALL the people in the building will come searching for me..."

THE BEST GIFT

                                              

It was my fifteenth birthday, which I still remember. I got up early in the morning, all excited for this big day. I dressed up in the new clothes and with full swag; I marched to my parents’ bedroom. I wanted to get my birthday gift – A SMARTPHONE! I had been telling my parents since months, “You need to get your smart girl a smart phone for her to be smarter!” And the promise had been procrastinated till my birthday. This’d be the best birthday gift ever, I had told myself.

I entered their room and my gift was waiting for me. I quickly put my sim card in, installed the necessary apps and waited for my friends, family and extended circles to wish me. Especially, I wanted to be wished by my crush through whatsapp. He had mocked me of not having whatsapp at 15 and I had challenged him that he will find me on Whatsapp on my birthday. He could wish me and to confirm it was me, I’d reply instantly. I was excited for this childish challenge of ours.

However, as my fate could make it, iced by my prodigy level of carelessness, I lost my phone; that too on airplane mode (Planes were always my fancy). I searched all over the house, ransacked all the closets but I just couldn’t find the single piece of metal!

Noon passed; we went to a restaurant to celebrate, still without my mobile phone. Dad assured me that we’d find it soon as it must be somewhere in the house but all I was worried about was the ‘challenge’ and sadness gripped me as I was still not wished by my crush.

As I was in my balcony crying and blaspheming, the sun dipped into the horizon along with all my hopes to find my phone and win the challenge. Just then, I saw him running down the street; right towards my home. I rushed at the threshold to see him and thought he’d ask for a handsome ransom for losing the challenge. I felt ruined. Nothing’s worse that facing defeat from your crush. But as I saw him coming nearer, a ray of joy hit his face. He wiped off the drops of sweat from his forehead, and smiled the widest. His eyes twinkled in the glitter of the dusk and his cheeks blushed red.

He dashed straight into me and hugged me as tight as possible. “Thank God, you’re all right! When you didn’t reply to the Whatsapp messages, and didn’t even receive my calls, I was so worried. I was desperately waiting for your birthday to wish you. Hey, see, I forgot, Happy Birthday!”

And even though I couldn’t find my mobile temporarily that day, I found my love for eternity and even beyond. He was the best gift for my fifteenth birthday.

by-Sanskruti Siras